it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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