he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize