But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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