I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
