so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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