At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
