I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
