you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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