I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
