so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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