I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
