Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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