I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
