3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
