drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
