We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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