This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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