i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
