so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
