I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
