nut hugger
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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