Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
