Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i came on her dog
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
