WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
