I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
