Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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