she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
