her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
