I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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