go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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