morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize