i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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