everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
