i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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