Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
