I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
