this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
