well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You smell like stripper and shame
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize