He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
