Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So much rum. So many feels.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
