And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
should my penis look like a turkey
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
