I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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