I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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