I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
