Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
