If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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