I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
