I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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