I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
