So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
