Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
