There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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