dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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