Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize