i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There r osticjed everywhere
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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