im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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