Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
