You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
