she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
