Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
