OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
