Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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