what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize