your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
