you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
