The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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