Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
