she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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